Sink or Swim?

Hesitant.

That is the best word to describe how I felt his morning when thinking about what I wanted to share, that is until I spent some time with God. I will admit that for years I have dealt with being a people pleaser. Not so much in wanting people to like me, but more in the way of wanting to make people proud of me in my job setting, amoungst peers, community, family etc. Before I knew it, I was weighed down by others opinions of me.

I then wondered “how much time do we spend thinking about others opinions or thoughts of us instead of focusing on what God says about us”? I’m so guilty of allowing this to consume my mind, even causing me to drift so far out into the sea of worry that I lose all sight of land! I have struggled with this in times when my character has been questioned or my beliefs have been challenged. I have pretty thick skin but there have been words that have effected me in ways that drove me to pure fury! As my husband so graciously and lovingly reminds me  ” no weapon formed against me shall prosper”, I seem to finally get a glimpse of land again. YES! Thank God! But then as I begin to swim back towards it, another wave of attack comes through pushing me further out losing the sight I had gained. This is extremely frustrating! Should we be in constant worry of what others say? Should we allow their perception of us to steal our peace? How does God feel about worry?

Philippians 4: 6-9 msg says: “Don’t fret or worry, Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.

So at this point I have two choices, conform to the world and it’s beliefs or stand firm in Gods word. This is a thought I completely refuse to entertain! In my life, there is not a choice. God always prevails no matter how terrible a situation may seem. I refuse to grab ahold of the lifeline the devil has thrown out to me making things appear “safe” in deep waters. If I budge on my values and beliefs even just a little to make others comfortable,  I drown. Keep in mind this is a battle, not a tangible one although some would verbally and publicly attack, but more of a spiritual one! This is what makes it easier for to me find land again, after the initial shock and spur of anger, after taking a moment to pray and seek Gods word, I am reminded that this is not about me at all and it’s not my battle to fight. I face all kinds of opposition from people and I finally understand that opinions of me, or misunderstandings of my character or belief is not my problem to resolve. The issue they have is not with me, but with God. I am a great target for practice however; because I choose God and the devil hates what I do, he hates that I share my testimony, he hates that people read what I write and seeds are planted, he hates that I sleep peacefully even after a dreadful day, he hates the light in me, he hates the passion I carry and he hates that I make it safely unharmed back to land every single time. I’m confident in where God has me, in my walk and he will never leave my side.

Sink or swim?  I swim……gracefully.

 

PF